Coming Out Simulator This is honestly one of the best games that I've played here not only because it touched a delicate theme that still affect many people across the world, even in LGBTQ+ friendly countries, but also because it showed some aspects of family dynamics, turn taking systems and way of interacting of Asian families, more precisely East Asia (the subtle tatemae/honne-like system way of communicating suggested me so).
I loved the simple and minimalist atmosphere of the game, grey colours and absence of music. To me grey here is a symbol of the subtle hues that communication and people' lives are characterized but it could also symbolize the dull life protagonist had to endure due to their parents. The clock sound was the only unnerving element that I appreciated during the dinner scene. I tried to play not as I would play, but as if I were the son/daughter of an Asian highly conservative family. This game was an intense experience where I could put myself in another person's shoes, I love when games do that because it widens your mind, if you have an open mind and heart. I wish more games are like this, and I hope to find others like this one.
This game was a small cross section of what interacting in a high-context culture feels like. A definition of high-context culture: in anthropology, high-context culture and low-context culture are ends of a continuum of how explicit the messages exchanged in a culture are and how important the context is in communication. Some countries with high context cultures include China, Thailand, Japan, Korea, Brasil, Spain, Argentina, and Saudi Arabia. But of course a country is never high-context or low-context in absolute terms. Instead, every culture uses a mix of explicit & implicit communication to different degrees, and there are also exceptions within cultures. For example India is a low-context culture with some high-context elements.
Edward T. Hall, the anthropologist who introduced these concepts, defined high-context culture as one in which:
“much of the information is either in the physical context or internalized in the person, while very little is in the coded, explicit, transmitted part of the message” (1976)
These cultures often do not explicitly state their message in words; instead much of their information is embedded in the context. This context includes the shared history, the relationships, and the cultural norms/values shared by the individuals communicating. High-context cultures prioritize the group over the individual, and they value collectivism (Hofstede, 1984). Since individual communication is ultimately founded upon the shared values of the group, it is understandable why the sense of community is emphasized.
High-context cultures can seem relatively less formal than low-context cultures because of the implicit nature of their communication. Moreover, communication is not always guided by rational or task-oriented decision-making but is often shaped by emotions, traditions, etc. In the game all of this is shown clearly in the dinner scene where nuances (opposite reaction from the mother if you wait to eat or start eating immediately), nonverbal cues (silences and turn-taking systems especially in the middle of the conversation between the mother and the protagonist), collectivism (when the mother mentioned what people might think of him and conversely of the family as whole), valued-based decision-making (when the father mentioned the numerous grand kids he wishes to have by the arranged wedding between Nicky and Claire where emotions, traditions, and cultural norms are taken into account) etc. play a major role.
When interacting with them I tried to think and act like a second-generation Asian person who both has connection with their East Asian roots and influences from the Canadian society (a Western, individualistic and low-context colture) so I tried not to be too direct because that's not the best way to interact with people coming from high-context cultures but at the same time I tried to test the waters in order to not ignore my own feelings and the parents' reactions acted according to what I expected from them. I admit I laughed at the vomit scene because I found it both tragic and comical at the same time, even more at the option to choose if letting your father eat the "sauce" or not and this brings to the fore another cultural aspect of East Asia: family.
One particularly distinctive feature of East Asian families is a clearly-defined and deeply-entrenched gender division of labor within the family. The patriarchal, patrimonial, patrilineal, and patrilocal organization of this family can be noticed in the relationship between the father and mother (he labels himself as the head-figure of the house). Keep in mind that traditional Confucian China and its cultural offshoots, Japan and Korea, evolved some of the most patriarchal family systems that ever existed. Another distinctive feature of the traditional East Asian family is the paramount importance of family lineage (notice when the father happily and proudly mentioned the grand kids).
A core value in the Chinese family, filial piety requires that children or grandchildren respect and care for their parents or grandparents (Thornton and Lin 1994; Whyte 2004). The same is true of Korean families and, perhaps to a lesser degree, Japanese families (Hashimoto and Ikels 2005). Another important element I've noticed in the game is the parenting style. In 1967, the developmental psychologist Diana Baumrind formed her Pillar theory, now referred to as “parenting styles,” through her research piece “Childcare practices anteceding three patterns of preschool behavior.” She found relationships between a parent’s child-rearing methods and the child’s behavior, condensing them into the authoritative, authoritarian, and permissive parenting styles. These are differentiated by their amounts of support and control, or a parent’s warmth and monitoring of their children.
Asian parents, typically adults of East Asian descent, are characterized by the authoritarian parenting style. These parents are perceived as cold, harsh and strict with high expectations that can never be fulfilled. They are disciplinarians who endlessly pressure, criticize, and demand much from their child, the term “tiger mom” is the first thing that comes to my mind. They are more achievement-oriented, you can notice this when the mother talks about Nicky's grades. I liked how the game showed the toxic relationship between the husband and wife with him constantly belittling her by calling her chubby, less beautiful and questioning her cooking skills (if you decide to let him eat the "sauce"). He is imposing and talks over the woman.
In the final part of the dinner scene, when the father approached Nicky, I got anxious and I carefully chose the right answer in order to avoid the worst (which I experienced the second time I played and I tried to be more direct). Despite the intense emotional roller-coaster this game was, I was more than happy to see how it ended and I wish you all the best from life, you deserve it.
This game is simply amazing and I will recommend to my friends. I wish I could give more than 5 stars. Thank you for this opportunity.
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